There’s a track posted on this site – a theme song of sorts for Live Like Tyler. In Live Like That, by Sidewalk Prophets, the songwriter poses questions about how his life will be recalled after he’s gone. He is inspired to live the way he wants to be remembered:
“Sometimes I think, what will people say of me, when I’m only just a memory? When I’m home where my soul belongs? Was I love, when no one else would show up? Was I Jesus to the least of us? Was my worship more than just a song? I want to live like that, and give it all I have, so that everything I say and do points to You. I want to live like that, I want to live like that.”
I was listening to this song on the radio as Tyler’s 19th birthday approached, and began contemplating all the many ways Tyler exemplified these lyrics in his 15½ years.
In honor of Tyler’s birth nineteen years ago today, please enjoy this compilation of accounts from others – young and “old” alike – that demonstrate Tyler living like that. Loving. Being Jesus. Giving it all he had. Pointing to the Lord he loved and worshiped.
Some of these accounts were written with the lyrics of this song in mind. Some were spoken at Tyler’s funeral. Some have been expressed over the years on the internet or in cards and letters.
When I first met Tyler, it was 6th grade. I never really had a place there. One of the best memories I have of Tyler was recess. We were playing tag. No one wanted me to play, and Tyler said come let him.
You go to a funeral and you hear all these stories. You know not all of them are really true – they’re a little bit exaggerated. The beauty of today is that everything that’s being said is true. The reason I know this is Tyler came up to me after class one day and said, “Ms. V, can I talk to you a minute?” I was thinking it was about grades or about the lab we did. But he said, “Could you pray for me?” And I was taken aback – students don’t usually ask me this. And I said, “Sure, what an honor! What is it you need prayers about?” Tyler said, “I just want you to pray for me to have courage. I have so many friends that don’t know Christ the way I know Christ. And I would love to have the courage to talk to them about that.” And I just remember thinking to myself, ‘How old are you?’ It was so impressive. He touched my life in numerous ways.
I didn’t have friends for the first two to three quarters freshman year. And I remember that I was in the after-school room one afternoon. Tyler was there with some other people in our grade that I didn’t know. But Tyler called me over to join them because he saw I was sitting by myself. I didn’t even know he knew my name. But I was so grateful someone took the time to make me feel included, that I wasn’t invisible to him. I still remember that, because I have met very few people like him. Tyler treated everyone like they mattered.
I’ve been so incredibly blessed to have some of the most passionate, faith-filled discussions you could ever imagine with Tyler in the hospital. In every discussion, Tyler was concerned about his friends. We had so many conversations where he said over and over again I want all my friends to be in heaven with me some day.
I frequently played Christian music in class and had the students read the words in Spanish. One day after our song, Tyler told me the lyrics had renewed his desire to be closer to the Lord. During our conversation, I was very touched by his love for Jesus, not to mention his willingness to talk to a middle-aged teacher about music! As I write this, I can’t help but think of the Bible account of Jesus referring to Nathanael as a person in whom there was no guile. Tyler was like that to me. There was no deceit or arrogance in him. He was just a forthright, humble young man who didn’t fear talking to others about matters of faith. The last time I saw Tyler was his visit to school during his illness. Despite the protective mask he was wearing, I knew he was smiling at me. There was still that warm glimmer in his eyes. He gave me a big hug and then headed to the cafeteria with his friends by his side. As I watched them leave, I realized that hug had come from one of the bravest people I had ever known.
The hope that Tyler had from the start till the end to me was how he showed that he was a true follower. These past few months have been hard on me as a believer and made me think a lot about my faith. I always come back to Tyler’s inspiration to never lose hope.
It’s been hard for me to think about, but after Tyler’s passing I had a rough time with it. I spiraled into not the best life style and choices, but this past year Tyler’s words came to me that no one would turn away from Christ from his passing. I am now with Youth With A Mission in Hawaii, going to school to become a missionary. In his honor I’m leading young kids and more and more people to Christ, and I will be going to the Philippines in December. I think about Tyler every day.
To me, Tyler was love. During a very difficult time in my life, Tyler continued to pour love on me. He would call and text to check up on me, even when I was doing my best to push everyone away. I will be forever grateful for his faith in me, and his unwavering friendship. Now, I try my best to take his love and share it with others, to live and to love like Tyler did.
I always loved talking to Tyler, and we had many inside jokes. That year though, I was a mess and had no one to understand me. None of my friends really seemed to care – except Tyler. He actually worried about me, and that still means so much to me. When I returned to school after being gone a long time, no one really asked me how I was, or even really acknowledged that I had ever gone. But I will always remember what Tyler said to me. Tyler looked me in the eyes and said, “You’re doing so much better than before.” It means so much to me that he said that – and I wish he could see me now. I am so grateful and blessed to have known him, and he makes me want to strive to be a better person. I have never witnessed one person have such a humongous impact on so many people’s lives.
Tyler, I still remember vividly our time in Costa Rica. Your fear of the bugs, your laughter, your hard work, your passion for winning the game against the Ticos… and so many other things. However, the one thing that is incredibly clear in my mind isn’t a game or a joke but your heart for the lost people in the world. In Costa Rica, I got to see a little glimpse of how much you deeply cared for the people who didn’t know the Lord. All of us could see that this passion was a huge part of your life and it changed us all. Tyler, you were an example to us of what it looks like to remain strong in the midst of such great struggles. My senior year of high school is one I will never forget. I will look back and see the way one person through their passionate heart changed a school. Tyler, your life challenged all of us to truly live. Not to attempt to live life to this world’s definition of the fullest life but to live life for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for the lessons we learned. Thank you for your faith and your compassion. Thank you for the smiles and the laughter. Thank you for the tears, they helped us all to grow. Thank you for your legacy and your story that we can share to tell the world just how amazing the love of Christ is.
I had the honor of teaching Tyler in 6th grade. I remember during a parent conference, looking at his mom and saying, “All I have to say is that Tyler is such a child of pure heart.” There’s a story I’ve shared many times. One afternoon Tyler came in as I was grading papers. He said, “I need to change an answer on my math test.” “Well, why would you like to change the answer, Tyler?” And that’s when he about knocked me off my chair. He said, “That’s not my answer. I panicked during the test.” And I nodded my head because I knew Tyler was a very conscientious student who worried about his grades and always wanted to do the best. He said, “I panicked, and in that moment I wrote someone else’s answer down.” And of course, in 6th grade you’re trying to guide your students. I looked at Tyler, and wanting to give him points for doing the right thing, said, “Well, I respect your honesty, Tyler. Why don’t we just leave your answer the way it is?” And he said, “No. That is not my answer. You need to take that off of there.” And I thought to myself, in a moment when I wanted to teach him about honesty, he was already there. And I’ll never forget that, because this was a student who was teaching his teacher. I’ll never forget that about Tyler – that’s who he was.
The way he took the news of the cancer and stayed strong and confident in his faith made it all that much easier for every single one of us to know there is a God and he is good. My faith has been strengthened so much because of him!
Knowing Tyler was one of the biggest honors of my life. That kid is…. I can’t describe him… He’s that good… He really changed me… He made me grow in-and-out to be better person.
I got to know Tyler freshman year. Being my first year of high school, I was obviously nervous and didn’t know many people. For me it always takes a while before I get comfortable around new friends. I remember in English Tyler would always try to say something to me or joke around. He helped me adapt to a new school more quickly than I would have without him. It was almost like he had a knack for picking kids who were not quite fitting in or going through a hard time, and making sure he talked to them to try to make them feel better. He liked making sure everyone was included, not just the “cool” kids. When Tyler was diagnosed with Leukemia, I really didn’t understand what he would have to go through. Though probably the hardest time in Tyler’s life, his faith grew instead of failing. It turned out he ended up encouraging us instead of the other way around.
Tyler was not scared to tell me exactly what he was thinking. The good and the bad. He was honest. There were so many times after youth group that he came and talked to me about the lesson and how he was growing with God. I’m not supposed to have favorites as a youth pastor, but needless to say I was always so excited when he was around. Tyler was never satisfied with being surface level. He always wanted to go deeper. He wanted to know the reasoning behind things. We had so many conversations together that left me feeling challenged. One thing I do know is Tyler has affected the faith of many people. My faith is not the same after knowing him. My life will never be the same because of Tyler. I will have his story with me forever. There is no doubt that he was one of the most mature, spiritual, amazing young men that I have ever had the privilege of being around.
Tyler made me laugh the minute I met him. Tyler – as you know – cheered people up. There was a day when I was feeling self-conscious about my appearance. I was having a day where I was feeling rather “ugly.” A few of my friends teased me about this which only made it worse. But Tyler looked me in the eye and told me I shouldn’t worry about those sorts of things. You don’t find many boys these days who will tell a girl not to worry about society’s version of “beauty.” It left me feeling a tad bit better about myself, knowing it isn’t what other people think of me. It’s what God thinks of me.
Tyler meant so much to me! And when we all found out about his cancer, he was the one telling us not to worry, that God’s got this. Tyler was always the one to lighten any situation with his funny jokes, but most importantly, he was always there for me. We would sit next to each other at lunch, and he would always know when something was wrong, and know exactly what to say. Tyler has changed my life, and I hope to somehow make a difference in someone’s life, like he has in hundreds.
No one moment can define Tyler as much as his life has. He lived his life the way he wanted, letting no one change him or tell him what to do. I learned that myself – he was the complete polar opposite of me. Where I was obnoxious and rude, he was calm and considerate of others. Yet I can honestly say he was my best friend because no matter how much frustration and doubt I caused him, he always remained true to himself and never let my bad side get the best of him. It’s been 3 years. The kid in me is long gone, but the kid I remember growing up with will always be at my side no matter what poor or stupid decisions I choose to make, because I know he would want the best for me. That was Tyler for you, unselfish and always putting others before himself. That IS Tyler. The way he lived never brought him down, and his happiness and joy radiated to those around him. There was never a dull moment with him, and everyday spent with him was a new adventure.
Tyler and I had a relationship mostly based on being goofy, but I always felt we had a deeper connection. I never really understood it because we were so different – I was the “black sheep” of my family, and he was a deeply Christian teen. Maybe it was our ability to sincerely laugh through the difficult parts of life that made us understand each other; I still don’t know. I remember one night though, when my sense of humor was unable to carry me through, and my dependence on alcohol and drugs was really overcoming me. The morning after, finally crawling into bed as the sun was rising, I remember randomly texting Tyler, “Hi.” He happened to be awake, and asked why I was up. My response: “I’m so tired of doing this.” Instead of being a typical teenager and wanting the gory details, he texted me back immediately, “Then stop.” I don’t remember what my response was before I fell asleep, but that two-word text of his has stuck with me from that point on. They say that when texting, recipients usually assume the worst when it comes to tone. I could have easily read his text as judgmental or as blowing me off. But because of how he had always treated me and others, I knew it wasn’t – I knew he simply wanted a better life for me. Because of who Tyler consistently was as a person, I felt that I could reach out to him, and I didn’t question that his words conveyed love. It made me want more. Though others at the time were showing me the same path and I was refusing it, somehow I let Tyler’s words in. To be fourteen with such strong conviction is a powerful thing – to me, more powerful than being an adult surrounded by like-minded people. That morning, he showed me love when I didn’t allow anyone else to. I wish more young people lived like Tyler. The way you live your life will either build people’s walls up or break them down. Tyler’s text that day was the first chip in my wall.
This boy is a miracle who God used to change my life. Every time I would see him he would light up my broken world with his smile.
Tyler, on this day that marks your birth, we are thankful for your life. And now that you’re “home where your soul belongs,” what do people say of you? That you showed love to those who felt unlovable. That you were a conduit for Jesus. That you gave it all you had. That what others saw in you, changed them.
What joy there is in knowing you lived like that!
1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”
