Tyler’s still with us. It’s really hard to summarize his condition right now. Again, his lungs looked much worse on xray today than even yesterday. Clearly they are going in the wrong direction. The bronchoscopy has not given his medical team any information as of yet that is useful for treatment. He’s still fighting against the ventilator while on enough sedation to fell two elephants.
So much else about him is improving: his skin rash, his wounds, his swelling. And as I’ve said earlier, his other organs are really doing fine. Even his blood pressure’s been OK since Monday afternoon – he only needs the support of pressors a few times each day. His blood gases are very stable and in a pretty good range. And we cannot forget that his cancer is in full remission and his bone marrow transplant has successfully engrafted.
It’s very confusing, and it’s so much harder to think that as he’s looking better, he’s actually slipping away from us even more since his lung disease is worsening. The PICU doctors still think he is near the end. While we do understand this, we simply cannot give up hoping for either a sudden healing, or for his lungs to finally respond to all the treatment they’re getting.
I’ve never wished to know God’s plan for Tyler more than I do now. Some have shared very clear messages, visions, or dreams from God of Tyler getting well; others recommend we give up and let him go. I’m not going to stop hoping!
I keep seeing him as the awesome husband, father, and man of God he will one day be. This boy has so much to offer to this world, and I so want him to have the chance. But even more, I want God’s will to be done. We’re continuing to wait to find out what that is!
By the way, thank you all so much for your beautiful words to us on the CaringBridge Guestbook. It really does make a difference for me to read them.